Get that Epidural Girl - Why having pain meds in labor is quite alright! - Chicago Birth, Baby and Family Photographer
By: Sarah Grana
Creative Assistant, Customer Service, Social Media
I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, I swore up and down, NO EPIDURAL. It was like a battle cry. I didn’t want any interference with my plan to really be in the moment, free to move around like a wild land creature and give birth naturally crouched over a bed of sweet grass or something. Some women laughed at me and said “ just wait honey, just wait, you’ll change your mind.” Others said, don’t get the epidural! Like it would be my end game. So of course I spent hours researching pros/cons. I made myself sick wondering about what the risks could be without even thinking of the benefits.
PICTURED: Dad supports Mom as she works through contractions shortly before getting an epidural at Northwestern Prentice Hospital, Epidural Catheterization Kit, Mom shortly after meeting her new daughter, feeling blissful and empowered by making choices right for HER.
I pride myself on my strength. I always considered myself a person with an exceptionally high pain tolerance, from a long line of women who never complain when they suffer. I mean, I was run over by a car and left in the road when I was a young woman...so child-birth shouldn’t be that bad, right? One of my earliest memories is going to visit my Mother after she gave birth to my sister and I remember there was a blood stain on the ceiling. I was obsessed with it.
Did the baby bounce off the ceiling when she came out? I asked my Father, clutching his hand. He laughed. My Mother literally broke the call button with her fist while in labor with my youngest sister. We love to tell that story . Childbirth seemed so primal to me, something you must suffer through. I should be able to do it without any help, I naively thought.
PICTURED: Happy and healthy mom and baby with dad shortly after birth.
Natural. What is natural? . When it comes to women , pretty much everything natural is shunned for us. Hairy armpits? Free-bleeding? Cellulite? No makeup? That's all natural, what's the problem? But suddenly the world thinks we should suffer naturally? Of Course. Of course they do. Its ok, when it comes to pain. Be natural, Earth Goddess.
Well fast forward to labor with our first baby. The pain came in waves, was tolerable up to a point and then suddenly I was that animal...except all I could do was moan and make deep guttural sounds. I could not think or communicate with words. I just accepted that I must be dying.
I still said no to the epidural but the window was closing and I looked to my man, strong and patient and sweet and I said “ I don’t know what to do!”
PICTURED: Grandma takes bests from family members about birth time: Mom holding her little one shortly after birth. Mom surrounded by family at South Suburban Hospital, shortly before giving birth. Epidurals help take the edge of so the birthing person can focus more on the things happening around them and enjoy time with family.
I never looked at a man and asked him what I should do, ever in my life, it caught me off guard. I’m stubborn. Pig-headed like my Grandpa always said, I’m a TAURUS AFTERALL. Hahaha
Well he said , DO YOU WANT TO GET THE EPIDURAL? THEN GET, THE EPIDURAL!!!!
Just GET. THE. EPIDURAL. PLEASE.
So I did. I felt guilty about it. I felt like maybe I wasn’t a strong woman after all. Did I fail my plan? Am I no longer a goddess crouching under the moon? Would this epidural lead to other medical interventions like pitocin or a C-section which I was adamantly against.
Also, I wanted to be very present to remember every side splitting pain...I wanted to remember the beauty of birth so I could write about it or make art about it in the years to come.
PICTURED: First time birthing partner surrounded by birth team at West Suburban Medical Center in Oak Park with the Midwives, Wide awake and alert little baby shortly after birth, New family enjoys first moments together.
I got the epidural. The pain doesn’t disappear, but it becomes a familiar pressure...like a friendly little warm pain inside you and suddenly I could think. I felt a huge pressure lifted off of my body and I was more in the moment. It gave me the strength I needed for labor and I can remember every single detail in my mind. I could smile and cry...I could talk about how I felt. My wonderful midwife and friend, Mary Kay Burke with Little Company of Mary, brought a mirror for me to watch my boy come out of my body. I was able to reach down and feel his small hairy head as he crowned.
I remember laughing and shouting “ I’m sorry my legs are so long and heavy like 2 giant tree trunks to my Mother and Benjamin as they held them up while I pushed my boy into the world. It was as primal as I dreamed it would be. It was as beautiful.
I got the epidural. I don’t feel bad about it. Girl, Get the Epidural. Do what you want.
Society criticizes every decision a woman makes. We crucify her if she doesn’t give birth at a hospital...We shame her exposed breasts and say she should bottle feed and if she does we say, no you should breastfeed ...We shake our finger at bed-sharing, even though the whole world does it, or we criticize babies that sleep in their own rooms. We give advice in passive aggressive snake tongues to young women who are first time Mothers. It seems no matter what you do, you will be criticized by a Mother in Law, a neighbor, a friend, or sometimes even your own inner voice.
Shut it down, woman.
Take a step back. Take ownership of your own birth experience. No one else is responsible for empowering you or making decisions about your body . YOU choose. You make the story you want. If things don’t go as you planned, that's ok. The top priority is the safety of your baby and your own physical and mental health. After that, what matters?
PICTURED: Dad in Scurbs helping catch his baby with the help of the OB. Hinsdale Hospital.
So, Get the Epidural. You’re still a bad-ass Lioness. YOU’RE STILL a sacred vessel of life. You’re still the most powerful thing on earth, A WOMAN.
Don’t worry, there will be plenty of pain for you to endure down the road after the baby is born. Hip pain, mastitis, hemorrhoids, hormone spikes, the isolation of early motherhood, rough patches with your partner, a sick baby, post-partum depression. There will be plenty of pain and obstacles to overcome. Your birth is not the end all be all of parenting. It’s only the beginning.
So, yeah, Girl, IF you want it, Get that EPIDURAL!